Chapter Six

     “This is a lovely spot, Sarah, don’t you think?” Annie was flushed with excitement, and she and John had hardly stopped speaking to one another during the long walk.

     “Yes, Annie, I think it is. This old cherry tree has been here forever.”

     “Excellent. Here it is, then.” John set about laying down the blanket and food for their picnic. They sat eating, and Sarah laughed and joined in occasionally, but generally stayed silent so the two could continue getting to know one another. Their mother had wanted to deny them the picnic today after what had occurred the night before, but with John standing at the door waiting, she couldn’t deny him without looking foolish. So they got to go, glancing back at the sisters left behind with pity.

     Looking up at the sound of a twig snapping, John said, “Well, hello there Jamie! Come join us, why don’t you? I dare say Ms. Sarah could use someone to talk to, with Annie and I just yammering on to one another.”

     Jamie stopped and stared. Sarah sat on the blanket with her knees tucked demurely to the side, her soft yellow dress matching her hair and her green eyes sparkling in the sunlight. Realizing that she was staring, and that she wasn’t breathing, Jamie stuttered, “No, thank you, really. I have to be—somewhere. I was just out for a walk.”

     Standing up in one fluid motion, Sarah stepped close to Jamie and said quietly, “Please, do stay, Jamie. They’re getting to know one another, and it would be nice to give them some breathing room. Walk with me?”

     Jamie nodded, her ability to speak deserting her as Sarah’s scent lodged in her nose. Sarah gave her a grateful smile and turned to the young lovers. “We’re just going to take a brief walk. Jamie wants to show me a strange mushroom growing in the forest. We’ll be right back.”

     Annie’s face glowed and she turned to her beau, who began talking animatedly about something Annie seemed to find fascinating, gauging by the rapt look of attention on her face.

     Sarah and Jamie walked into the woods, Sarah occasionally touching the leaves, brushing her fingertips along the tops of the ferns, and stopping to stare at the little brown and black finches flittering through the branches.

     Clearing her throat, Jamie said, “Do you know this is considered ancient woodland? It’s more than five hundred years old.”

     “Truly? I had no idea. I love the woods. I feel so safe in them, like the trees would reach out to protect me if I needed it.” Sarah blushed, feeling silly at the admission.

     “I understand. It’s always been a place of tranquility for me, too. A place where no one bothers me, or thinks I’m strange, or judges me. A place where I can just be me.”

     Sarah took Jamie’s hand, wanting to comfort her, to take away the pain in her voice.

     “You’re shaking, Jamie. Are you cold?” Sarah held Jamie’s hand up to her mouth and blew on it in an attempt to warm it. She was surprised when Jamie’s eyes closed and her jaw muscles began clenching. “Are you okay?”

     Pulling her hand gently away, Jamie turned and plucked at the leaves on a tree. “Do you ever feel different, Sarah? Like you have nothing in common with the people around you? Like you want something different than they do?”

     Sarah tilted her head and thought about Jamie’s question. “Yes, I suppose I do, although I haven’t really bothered to think about it. I want knowledge. I so wish I had the education you do, Jamie. I want to see the world. But,” she said, leaning against a tree, “I’m not likely to see anything beyond this village in my lifetime. Just like my mother and my sisters, I’ll get married, have kids, and never learn or see anything new again.”

     Jamie flinched inwardly at the idea of Sarah married. “You don’t have to do those things if you don’t want to, Sarah. You can be your own person, make your own way. Go where you want to, read what you want to.”

     “That’s easy for you to say, Jamie. Your family has money, and they let you run around…” Sarah grimaced at the way her words sounded. “You’re allowed to wear clothes you are comfortable in, regardless of what people say. My mother would beat me senseless for even thinking of it, let alone doing it. No, Jamie, a woman’s life is not her own, except for exceptions like you. Have you read The Ideal Woman? It’s the only  thing other than the bible my mother has ever brought into the house for us to read.”

     “Your mother subscribes to that? That a woman’s place in the world is to serve and obey her husband to the best of her limited abilities?” Jamie was stunned. She knew some women took that rubbish on board, but most women she knew read it and laughed, knowing full well a bored husband was a wandering husband.

     “We should get back to my sister, so they don’t do anything silly. Thank you for walking with me.” Sarah felt an unreasonable urge to defend her mother’s belief, even though Sarah felt The Ideal Woman was nothing more than a way to keep a woman pinned down by her husband, no matter how he behaved toward her.

     “Wait, Sarah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Everyone has their own beliefs. Please, wait.” Jamie reached out and touched Sarah’s elbow, trying to get just a few more minutes with her. What she wanted to say was don’t leave me here, needing your breath near me, your skin just a touch away.

     “It’s okay, Jamie.” Sarah relented and sat gingerly on a large rock. “I wish I could accept my mothers thinking the way my sister Alice does. It would be easier than fighting it, testing it, dissecting it. But, it is the way I was brought up, and I have to abide my mothers decisions, just as the bible tells us we must.”

     Nodding, Jamie stayed silent, not wanting to give Sarah another reason to go. But Sarah said, “Really, we should get back to my sister, Jamie. It would be improper to leave them alone too long.” Jamie stood and took Sarah’s hand, helping her up. She didn’t step back fast enough, and they stood pressed together, Jamie staring into Sarah’s eyes and her stomach roiling.

     Time stopped.

     Sarah stared back, and her mouth slowly formed a tiny “oh,” and then the spell was broken by Alice calling for her sister. Sarah stepped back, very slowly, and placed a hand on her stomach. She turned abruptly and practically sprinted back to the young couple.

     Jamie watched her go, and then rested her hands on her knees, trying to suck in air. She felt as though she would faint. Sarah’s soft, delicate hand in her own, the sweet, soft scent of her pressed up against Jamie’s body, and her deep, jade green eyes made Jamie’s knees weak and her hands sweat. She thought she might vomit. Straightening, she walked slowly back to the group, the smallest grin pulled at the corners of her mouth, and she prayed her relationship with Sarah hadn’t been ruined before it had gotten started.

     They were packed up and ready to go, and Sarah looked at a point over Jamie’s shoulder instead of at her face when she said, “We’re going to walk back. Are you joining us?”

     Jamie nodded and fell in step with them. She and Sarah stayed silent except for  answering remarks directed at them, and once they were at the crossroads, Sarah said quietly, “Thank you for joining us. And for speaking with me in the woods. I don’t…”

     Taking a deep breath, she finished bluntly, “Thank you. Good evening. Annie? We should go before mother gets upset.”

     John leaned over and whispered something in Annie’s ear that sent her into a fit of giggles, and he kissed her hand gallantly before he let her go. John and Jamie stood together, watching the two women walk away, and John said dreamily, “What a woman.”

     Jamie answered thoughtfully, “Indeed.”

***

     Sarah answered Annie’s animated chatter distractedly on their way home, thinking instead of what had taken place in the woods. What had happened? Jamie had helped her up from her sitting position and then. And then? She had the most disturbing sense that Jamie might have kissed her had  the moment not been broken. She flinched. What would she have done? Surely it was unnatural for one woman to want another. She would have to stay away from Jamie from here on out. Clearly the woman was dangerous, with her men’s clothing and blue eyes. And slightly roughened hands. And flat stomach.

     “Sarah! You’re not even listening to me!” Annie was pouting, knowing her sister was preoccupied with something else. “Is something wrong? Did Jamie upset you?” Gasping, she said, “Oh Sarah, did I upset you? I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.”

     “No, love, you didn’t upset me.” Taking her sister’s hand and tucking it in her arm, she smiled kindly and said, “Are you happy, duck? Is he all you thought he would be?”

     “Oh Sarah, he is that and so much more. He’s so kind, and funny. I had no idea he was so funny.” Annie laughed and squeezed her sister to her tightly.

     Taking her Annie’s face in her hands, Sarah said, “I’m so glad for you, Annie. But remember something, sweetling. If mother knows how happy you are, or how much you want this, she may put a stop to it. Be careful to temper your happiness when we get home, all right?”

     Sobered, Annie nodded and continued walking, her brow furrowed in thought. “Thank you for going with us today, Sarah. If Alice had gone she would have told mother every little thing and we wouldn’t have had a moment alone. And if it had been Mary Ellen, well, I would’ve had to watch her every second. Willie would have talked John’s ear off. So, thank you. It was very nice of Jamie to stay and keep you company.”

     Struck, Sarah said, “Annie, you must not tell mother that Jamie showed up, do you understand? Mother would be furious if she knew we had spoken with her. You must leave her out of this entirely.”

     Taken aback by her sister’s vehement insistence, she agreed readily. Sarah gently touched her sisters shoulder, and taking a deep breath to fortify themselves, they entered their house.

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